Grace’s Pilgrimage to Reminisce Her Wedding Day
Saturday 29th September 1984
I was very nearly late for my own wedding (Anniversary – 33rd), but mum (Florence Eveline Jenner) has discovered an amplified echo can be obtained by standing to the left of the stairs and yelling, provided all doors are open, of course, and the “yell” reaches a certain decibel.
She was quite unaware of my planned pilgrimage and was only concerned I should be “up and decent” before all the people started trekking in. It must be so disappointing and frustrating to her – she so desperately wants to “show me off” to her audience, yet there is nothing to “show off” is there – Well, there is a huge mass I suppose, but not the sort of mass she would like.
Having succeeded in getting me down the stairs she promptly said –
“I've cooked my breakfast but didn't do you any as I didn't know if you were getting up”.
So I just had some brown bread & honey and a cup of tea, and then got myself `dolled up’ ready for the trip down memory lane.
I wore the dress I had for Arthur & Helen’s wedding. Mum had kindly spent last evening, when I was with Arthur & Helen, sewing the sleeves (I’d cut the bottoms off but had never got around to finishing them). She thought it might have looked better if it had been ironed first, but I told her that Today’s fashion is for the `non-ironed’ look, and anyway the heat of my body should get the creases out – eventually!!
I felt quite excited as I started off at 10:15. I was married exactly 33 years ago at 10:30 so walked at a steady pace down to Downend Church, Bristol and then, after pausing to read a few tombstones, entered the Church. What an experience! It was just as if I was expected; the Church was decorated throughout so beautifully, then I realised these flowers were in aid of the Harvest Service, not me. Oh Well! It was a nice thought while it lasted. On the dot of 10:30 I wandered down the aisle, trying to recollect, but somehow the Church seemed smaller than I remembered. Still, I was only 10 stones when I’d walked down 33 years ago!
At the appropriate time I left the Church and wandered on down into Downend proper and a look around the shops. What a lot of changes since I lived there, very few of the old familiar shops are left.
However, as I was on a “Nostalgic trip down Memory Lane” I thought it would round things off nicely if I went into Russ’s old shop and bought something. This is still a Greengrocer and Florist Shop, albeit having changed hands several times since the Russ family gave it up in 1949/1950.
My first purchase was a ripe, and ready for eating, honeydew Melon. After wandering around the other Downend Shops I returned to 27 Bodminton Road (the old Russ’s shop) and bought a variegated ivy – with a live ladybird crawling up the stem – for Mum, because that will go on for a long time, if not for ever, whilst the Melon will be eaten and nothing left as a memento.
Having fulfilled my needs for the pilgrimage I decided I’d better wend my way back to Staple Hill – Yet it didn't seem to be quite complete somehow, I felt the need of a coffee and sit down where I could gather my thoughts, but there are no Cafés in Downend!! Rounding the corner by the Blackhorse pub I saw a notice “Morning Coffee” so thought I’d go in. As I came to the side door I noticed it was labelled “Grace Lounge” so took that as an omen and went in and am indeed writing this nostalgic memoir from that very lounge, sipping a lovely `real’ coffee, alongside the other customers who seem to prefer their liquid in glasses.
All in all it has been a very rewarding morning, spiritually and emotionally that is, and I shall now be able to return to the great Metropolis feeling at peace, and fulfilled. A very tall man has just entered the bar and was greeted by some very bold comments from his cronies already seated. One such comment being (in a broad Bristol accent) “Thee bis like a pregnant deck chair” to which he replied “Ah! There be Weston Super Mare printed all up the side” (He was sporting a very bright and gaudy pair of multi-coloured striped trousers – not all that unlike a deck chair material). This seems quite a cosy little bar and I feel remarkably `at home’ in it. No one is bothering me and yet I don’t feel at all on my own, or a stranger.
The little group to which the `pregnant deck chair’ belongs are now playing Crib. I can hear the odd “15-2” “15-4” coming from their table. To the right of me, on the wall, is a huge horse collar, such as used by the old working horses of yore (Middle English for "long ago"). It is a real old genuine one and looking at it, if you close your eyes and let the imagination run loose, it is possible to hear the clinking of the chains and the breathing of the Shire horse and even, if you concentrate, smell the associated smells. How dull our lives would be without our memories and the imagination to recall them.
I have just witnessed what I always understood to be “the unforgivable sin” i.e. one of the non-playing members of “pregnant deck chairs” group has gone out and purchased fish & chips!! I thought it was not allowed to bring food into a pub where they sell food, and that fish & chips were banned because of the grease getting on glasses and making the bear go flat!!
The time is now 12:10 and the bar is filling up fast. I shall soon have to `share’ my little alcove with its table with others so will make a move when I've finished this coffee (my third cup). I think I recognise one of the old men from the Army (Salvation Army) As long as he doesn't recognise me its all right! Mum would be quite worried if she thought I was frequenting “a den of iniquity”. Well, I will finish here for the moment and make my way back to No. 8 Seymour Road (Staple Hill, Bristol). As I left at 10:15 (without explaining where I was going) mum will assume I have just `gone to the shops’ and will be getting concerned! In case I've been mugged, raped, kidnapped or otherwise defiled!!
I got back without mishap and found Mum quite unconcerned – she must be getting used to my odd ways! I lost those wretched view cards again this morning, and the grapefruit I’d bought especially for my breakfast yesterday!! Mum eventually found the cards in her shopping bag and I found the grapefruit in a brown bag on the stairs!! Will now write the cards this afternoon and will have the grapefruit in the morning – if I don’t lose them again in the meantime!! We have now `lost’ a glass basin. This was used yesterday, in fact I think I remember washing it up, but its present where about's is unknown. I asked Mum if she thought the house might be haunted and she said the way things disappear she is certain there is a “Kremlin” about. I said I thought she probably meant “Gremlin” and she said she did, but it always came out as “Kremlin”. I told her the Kremlin was in Russia.
She suddenly had a “flash” of memory. We were talking about births (I don’t know how we came on this subject) Anyhow, she said she was 32 when I was born and her waters broke at 4:30 pm when she was sat in the front room (of 14 Sweets Road, Soundwell, Bristol) talking to Mrs Heath and at 7:30 pm I was born. This seems an incredibly short time for a first birth, especially for someone of 32 years old. I asked her what day it was and she said, “Thursday because it was Songster Practice night and she’d always maintained I should have had a good singing voice”. I said I have – like a crow, or raven!!
I have upset the Budgie!! It is sulking with its back to the telly! It likes to sit on the side nearest the TV and watch the moving pictures. Tonight I was sat in the armchair in the corner when mum suggested I pull up the easy chair to put my feet on. This I did, but as soon as I moved the easy chair from the side of the Budgie’s cage it started creating quite a fuss and swearing at me in budgie language. The Budgie is now sitting on the other side of its cage refusing to look at the TV. Its feathers are all fluffed out on its chest and it is quite obviously sulking!!
We've found’ the missing glass basin! The new Ivy plant was sitting in it on the kitchen windowsill.
Sunday 30th September 1984
Panic Stations! Not downstairs there isn't, Mum isn't aware of the extra fluttering beneath my breast. I have aroused myself, had some of the melon (for my grapefruit breakfast) this time I didn't `lose’ the grapefruit – just `forgot’ them. However, I found some jelly in the fridge from last weekend – just the `scrapings’ – so I had that with the melon and put the dish into soak. It has made quite a bit of room in the fridge. Yesterday I discovered a peculiar package that was emitting quite a strong pong; on investigation it proved to be some liver pâté someone had brought in for Mum `about two weeks ago’ she thinks. She said people often bring things in for her and put them in the fridge and, because she hasn't put it in herself, she forgets it is there. The liver pâté was hastily consigned to the rubbish bag. Anyhow, to revert to the present `panic’, I am starting to pack my case and get things up together and I suddenly realised it doesn't seem as it I've done much. It is true I have sorted out the back bedroom, but in the process transferred quite a lot to the front bedroom. So the rooms are now mirrored fashion to what they were when I first started. So what do I do? Put some back in the back room so they look about equal? No perhaps it would be best to leave the back room tidy – then I can always swear that was my plan – to do it in easy stages – and I'll be back to do the front bedroom in a few weeks. At which time I shall most probably `sort out’ the front and in the process manage to transfer a lot into the back bedroom!! I have a feeling I am not one of life’s “Housewives”. Housework is definitely NOT my forte.
Back in London
I ordered a taxi for 3:45 and this set me down at the Bus Station at 4:05. I then had to queue for 10 minutes for a carton of orange and KitKat for the journey and went along to the London bay at 4:15 to find a long queue. I had the large family size suitcase, an ordinary size one and my shopping bag; handbag, plus a large carrier bag. Mum had urged me to take some oranges, a couple of pears, some tomatoes, a small loaf and a dozen eggs “because you won’t have anything to eat when you get in” Oh! and a chicken piece. All these were packed, pushed and crammed into any vacant space in the cases and bags, but guess what – yes that’s right, I left the two grapefruits behind!! At 4:30 the coach, which had come up from Exeter, pulled into the bay from where it had been parked the other side, but it was already quite full so only a handful could get on. There was a huge mob of us left and after 10 minutes or so an Inspector came along and told us to go over to the white double decker parked at the back. This posed quite a problem for me as I had so much luggage and the large suitcase was really heavy as it contained mostly books. I managed to crossover but then saw the double decker was in the back row and we had to pass between two coaches to get to it. I looked at the gap and realised I wouldn't make it; maybe if I only had to get my body through, but not with all the luggage on each side. However, a man saw my difficulty and took the large case and by walking sideways with the small suitcase long ways on to my body in one hand and the bags in a similar position in the other I was able to sidle like a crab to the rear of the bus, where the driver was loading the cases through a side door marked “Emergency Door”. I couldn't get up much speed `sidling’ and created quite a jam behind me. Having deposited my small case I then had to make my way back to the front of the bus to get in, but I still had the shopping bag, plastic bag and handbag and, of course, had to pass all the other passengers waiting to leave their cases, so had to 'sidle’ once again, with the queue of people all having to press themselves against the side of the bus. Once inside I went upstairs, this was quite a novelty, as I've not travelled to or from London on a double decker before. Usually, as soon as the coach pulls out I get my nose in a book, but today I was keen to see the view from the top of the bus and was most surprised at the route taken. We left the bus station turned into part of Stapleton Road, St. George, up over Kingswood and down into Warmley, on through Wick and picked up the Motorway near Bath. I suppose the driver wanted to take us the `pretty way’? It was 8 o’clock when we arrived at Victoria and I then phoned Apple for a cab and got home about 8:45. Much longer than by train, but so much cheaper (if you don’t count the cabs).
Monday 1st October 1984
Oh Glory!! First day back to work and what happens? Yes, I oversleep again! I was awake at 6 am and thought I’d have just another 5 minutes lay in – not going back to sleep – just laying there – but, of course, the inevitable happened and I dozed off, only to come back to reality at 8:35 am!! It is considered quite an unforgivable sin to be late back on the first day after a holiday. Any other day of the year it is accepted, but the first day after a holiday you are supposed to be fighting fit, bushy tailed and bright eyed and present yourself early. Still, being one of life’s survivors, I fed the cats, fed myself (egg on toast). Good job mum made me bring these items back with me. Has a wash, finished unpacking the suitcases and bags then promptly re-packed the large case – but only with the small suitcase (empty) to give it a bit of substance, then went to the station (where I am scribbling this). The next London train is due 9:57 so I will get into the office 10:30ish. Much too late for your ordinary every day excuses, so I shall just walk in (with the empty suitcase), smile at my boss and he will assume I have travelled up straight into the office from Bristol, and it will be “acceptable”. It worked!! I think it is connected in some way to my upbringing. It was drummed into me as a child that it was a big sin to tell a lie, so I seem to tell my lies “by default” i.e. not actually look someone in the eye and brazenly tell a whopper, but present enough fabricated evidence to give the wrong impression – I am sure this is just as great a sin as being an honest liar – at least you know where you with one of those!! My boss asked me if I’d had a nice holiday and when I replied in the affirmative he said, “You look well anyway – but we'll soon do something about that”.
I have typed just one Memo all morning, the rest of the time being spent on the Word Processor. This afternoon I have to sort through all the accumulation of papers the girls handed me this morning. I have just had “Bangers & Mash” in one of the City Cafes and am writing this whilst sipping a tea and having a cigarette.
Jean (the company’s Nurse who is in collusion with my Doctor) handed me three typed sheets today. Two of them are “Diet Sheets” especially designed for my lifestyle, but the third is a record sheet, and is rather weird. It is to take my pulse each morning – after I have been sitting down for at least half an hour (today it was 72 which Jean says is not at all bad). Then I have been instructed this afternoon to take the lift to the third floor and walk up to the forth – where Jean will be waiting for me to take my pulse again and note it down on this chart. However, in my cleaning job I work in an old building with no lifts. I clean the first, second and third floor offices, and the keys are kept in the basement – So I have to go down to the basement, collect the keys, climb the stairs to the ground floor and on up to the first and when that floor is done climb up to the second and after that floor is finished climb on up to the third – taking all my equipment with me – then when everything is done I have to put my tools away on the first and take the keys back to the basement and then climb the steps to the ground floor to get out of the building, so I wouldn't think one flight of stairs in the office would affect me too much. The trouble is, if I pass that test ok they might then want me to walk up two flights, then three, and finally the whole four flights!!
Footnote by Grace Russ
"When you have your little ones, encourage them to use their imagination and instincts. If these gifts are smothered, by forcing them to “conform to society” too much, you will be doing them a great disservice."