Grace…. gone with the wind

Anyway, I have already got myself into yet another situation - through not `owning up' - so, in for a penny…. etc.

To explain, yesterday I over indulged in garlic! Garlic in my poached egg (which broke so turned out `scrambled' egg) in the morning; garlic and liver sausage with gherkin roll for my lunch; garlic liberally sprinkled in my evening meal of soup. The result, this morning I was greatly troubled with…. how can I put it? …. Um, er! Ah Flatulence? In other words, `Wind'…. of the most horrific and diabolical kind ever produced upon this earth!

It started off in the train early this morning but I got out of that quite easily by simply `glaring' at the man opposite until he became a bright red, then everyone else looked at him as the thought he was the culprit (I am a horrid bitch!).

Then, first thing this morning I had a lot of photocopying to do in the office and was quite content in the corner on my own until one of the Directors came along to take a copy of something, just seconds after another silent explosion had taken place. What could I do? He said nothing of course, but popped his head round the nearest office door, sniffed, and remarked he wondered where the `sulphur' smell was coming from! After that, each time anyone came near me I also remarked upon this peculiar `sulphur' smell and must have overdone it as before I knew what had happened we had the Engineers in…. looking for this peculiar `sulphur' smell. They have had the machine switched off, causing a great deal of inconvenience, they have been `inspecting' the air conditioning and the latest news is a rumour that someone may have to come in over the Easter weekend to take carpets up! …Oh! IF ONLY I had owned up in the first place, but it has now gone too far to say anything and my best bet is to keep my mouth shut and my fingers crossed!

How does that saying go? …Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive…. Several Directors are hovering around - still commenting on this `sulphur' smell and remarking how peculiar it is they haven't noticed it this afternoon and that perhaps, with a bit of luck the Engineers may have discovered it this morning and rectified it. Signing off - as…. GRACE…. gone with the wind! P.S. Even the dog won't speak to me!

Grace Russ - Easter 1982