The Big Auction

However, I was telling you about my day out on Thursday. It was really a pleasant `fun' day. After we left Mike at Charring Cross we went over to the Sale Room and `viewed' the ceramics which were coming up for auction at 2pm. There were some really beautiful things there, and some that looked nothing in particular, and it was surprising when later in the day some of the things I thought didn't look like much fetched quite a high price. I think the most attractive items were a set of none plates with portraits of `young maidens' (the catalogue description) painted on them and signed by various people, a few of them were signed by Wagner. These raised over £1 000 in the auction.

After the `viewing', Jim and I went over to have some lunch, but the café was closed for the holidays and so we had a pork pie and beer in the pub. He was concerned about being in the front as he is a bit hard of hearing, and so we went back to the Sale Room about 1.30 and managed to get two seats in the front row, They are doing some alterations to the place and there was a huge rostrum in front of us which looked like a Builder's hoarding as it was three large pieces of wood (unpainted) - a front and two sides in the shape (roughly) of a boomerang. Anyway, we sat there for a while chatting away in muted whispers as it we were in a Church, when suddenly the Auctioneer and his assistant appeared on the rostrum; which gave me the chuckles as from our front seats all we could see at first was their head and shoulders, and I said to Jim "You didn't tell me there was going to be a Punch & Judy act as well", which gave him the chuckles too, but we soon quietened down when the Auction proper started. Indeed I was kept quite busy marking off the prices in the catalogue. Jim's four pieces fetched over £300.

After the sale we were on our way to the bus stop when a Japanese chappie came up and asked us for No. 1 - I thought he was referring to a bus, but he spoke very little English and pulled out a phrase book and pointed to something which Jim said looked like `Departmental' (but as his eyesight is almost as bad as his hearing I didn't feel too confident about it). Anyway, Jim did his `Sherlock Holmes' but and decided that this Japanese wanted to know how to get to London's No. 1 Departmental Store, which he said must be Harrods. Having solved that problem he then started to try to explain how to get there, but as we weren't sure of our own whereabouts at that time it was rather difficult. However, undaunted, Jim asked a passing `Lady' if she could help; unfortunately she happened to be a German but nevertheless had quite a good command of the English language and seemed only too willing to help. However, the little Japanese guessed that we were trying to elicit help and came up close to the woman to try to grasp what she was saying; but as she thought it was Jim who wanted to know, and had no idea the Japanese was in our company, albeit, temporarily, she kept turning her back on the Japanese. I think it was at about this point that I began to feel the hysterical chuckles gurgling away inside me and I know that if these three kept up their weird dancing and prancing on the pavement I wouldn't be able to control my laughter too long. It was SUCH a funny sight. In the end she though it would be best if we got the tube, so we trooped across the road and over three sets of traffic lights to the nearest tube station. We finally arrived at the tube station. We must have looked quite an amusing sight when you think about it. Firstly there was me (and you know what I look like), then Jim, the same as usual with his long hair looking as if it could do with a wash and cut, and as he had been painting his kitchen the night before and only has the one pair of trousers, his trousers were spot marked with white paint, but he did have a fairly decent jacket on the top. His bright red socks and suede shoes just about finished him off. The little Japanese was quite tidy looking, but he was SO TINY, against Jim and myself he seemed more like a little boy , and the fact that he kept running along beside us with quick little steps, and kept looking up into our faces to see what we were saying (or trying to UNDERSTAND what we were saying), made our little threesome into quite a comedy tableau. Being quite bright, we soon discovered that the tickets would cost 15p each, but although every other machine was in good order, the 15p machine was broken down, so we joined the queue at the ticket office. However, Jim had donned his `Sherlock Holmes' cap once again and found out that there was quite a delay on the tubes owing to the flooding of some of the network the night before during the heavy rainstorm…. So he decided that perhaps it would be better after all if we got a bus instead of a tube. Once again our little trio ventured forth back across the road and over the three sets of traffic lights to the nearest bus stop. I must admit that I began to admire the little Japanese fellow for his great forbearance, as I was by this time getting quite confused and I am sure he must have been even more so, but he didn't show it, bless his little cotton socks, in fact he behaved as if he had every confidence in Jim - which is more than I did. We eventually got on a but, which I am certain by pure chance - you know, one of those once in a lifetime flukes, actually did go past Harrods. When you consider that we didn't even know if we were waiting on the right side of the road and could easily have been going in the opposite direction, this was indeed a miracle. We put our new found friend off at Harrods and wished him `Farewell' etc., and he in turn gave us a very friendly grin and bowed as if we were Royalty, and also wished us farewell in Japanese (at least I THINK he was wishing us farewell!). Jim and I then went on to Victoria and caught a train straight back to Orpington where I had ten minutes to wait for my but, and he got a taxi almost immediately. When I spoke to Greta on Friday night and thanked her for `lending' me her husband for the day on Thursday, she thanked me for sending him home so early and sober! She said she wished he would behave like that more often.

Grace Russ - 23rd August 1977