EXPLAINING TO THE CHILDREN
A gentleman on board a steamboat with his family, was asked by his children “what made the boat go,” when he gave them a very minute description of the machinery and its principles in the following words:- “You see, my dears, this thingumbob here goes down through that hole and fastens the jigmaree, and that connects with the – crinkum-crankum, and then that man, he’s the engineer you know, kind o’ stirs up the what-do-you-call-it, with a long poker, and they all shove along, and the boat goes a-head.”
LAST ADMONITIONS TO A LAZY BOY
A late reverend clergyman, who was as well know for his eccentricity as his talents, one day sent his son, a lazy lad, about twelve years of age, to catch his horse. The boy went sauntering along half asleep with an ear of corn in one hand, and the bridle in the other, dragging the reins on the ground. “Thomas!” said his father, calling after him in a solemn tone of voice – “come here, Thomas, I want to say a word to you before you go.” The lad returned, and the parson proceeded. “You know, Thomas, I have given you a great deal of good counsel. You know I’ve taught you before closing your eyes always to say, `Now I lay me down to sleep,’ &c., besides a good many other things in the way of exhortation and advice. But this is the last opportunity I shall ever have of speaking to you, and I couldn't let it pass without giving you my parting advice. Be a good boy, Thomas, and always say that pretty prayer when you are going to sleep. I fear I shall never see you again.” As he said this in a very grave and solemn manner, the poor boy began to be frightened, and burst into tears with this exclamation, “You’ll never see me again, pa?” – “No; for I shall die before you get back with the horse!” This quickened Thomas’s ideas; and gathering up the bridle-reins, he ran and caught the horse sooner than he had ever done before.