BALLS!

This is the Saga of a poor Orpington lady
Deprived of my Aniseed Balls and suffering badly!
They told me in the shop at Orpington Station
That you are unable to keep up with demand for production
Of my favourite sweets – luverly Aniseed Balls.
They say that over-demand for these Balls is the cause;
That my be so, but to let an addict like me
Suffer from withdrawal symptoms is cruel you see.
So my dear Manufacturers down at Leytonstone
PLEASE take heed of me pleas, and my little moan
And get your staff working on those Aniseed Balls.
This will bring SO much pleasure to us Orpington souls.
We will soon gobble them up and thus bring you much profit,
As `top of the Balls’ chart – Aniseeds a HIT!

Whilst writing this tripe I would like to just add
That at Bognor Regis in September I shall be most sad
If Bond’s Aniseed Balls I am still unable to obtain
They had none last year, and this caused me great pain!
So PLEASE send your rep. Down to Bognor – Poste Haste;
I promise you – on my honour – his journey he’ll not waste.
The shops down there stock other sweets made by you
So why don’t they sell your Aniseed Balls too?
To sell other sweets, but not Balls, is a great crime.
With apologies for my outburst – and for wasting your time
I remain, a faithful Bond’s Aniseed Ball addict for ever,
And hope that to Orpington Station Shop you’ll SOON deliver!

Grace Russ – 1975