One of the Love Affairs That are Funny, But Don’t Pay.

– A case recently came before the Marylebone county court, England, which caused no little merriment. It was the case of Redfern vs. Murray, for the recovery of £10 lent on the strength of a promise of marriage. Miss Redfern stated that she had been on terms of intimacy with Mr. Murray for five years, and she had now an action pending against him for breach of promise of marriage. He had used her most scandalously. Beside keeping company with her for five years, he at carious times got from her various presents. The rings on his fingers and the watch in his pocket were her gifts. She lent him two five pound notes, and when he cooled toward her, she wrote him a letter, demanding her presents and money back, or a fulfilment of his promise. In reply she got:

“Go to the Putney on a pig, grease its tail, and the devil won’t catch you. [laughter.] No, no, it won’t do. [Renewed laughter.] There is an old border sonnet to your tune:

There was a criminal in a cart
Agoing to be hanged;
Reprieve to him was granted;
The crowd and cart did stand
To see if he would marry a wife,
Or otherwise choose to die.
“Oh, why should I torment my life?”
The victim did reply:
“The bargain’s bad in every part,
But a wife’s the worst – drive on the cart.”

[Roars of laughter.]

Yours, as you behave yourself,

ALEXANDER MURRAY.”

Mr. Murray – “Woman, lift up your vail (veil), not that I want to see your face, but I should like his Honor to pass an opinion on your frontispiece – [laughter] – and say whether he would not drive on the cart in preference to marrying you. [Roars of laughter.] Did I not take you to all places of amusement; was not this money expended in it? Now, answer that, you darned old conglomeration of bile.” [Roars of laughter.]

Miss Redfern – “Oh, Sandy, you know I ‘most always paid for our tickets.”

Mr. Murray – “Admitting that, who stood Sam in the liquor trade? [laughter.] Just tell his Honor, on your oath, how many little goes you had at the Crystal Palace. [laughter.] Lord love you, she can toss off a dozen little brandies, and till both eyes after with the mountain dew. [Loud laughter.] I hope your Honor will not order me to pay this money, for I assure you, I spent it all down her throat.” [Renewed laughter.]

The Judge was of the opinion that a gentleman had a bounden duty to stand treat to his lady love, and made an order upon Sandy to pay the debt and cost in two instalments.