Selby Teetotallers

1850’s Teetotallers of Selby, North Yorkshire, England open their meeting with a Parody of the Crimean War.

On Tuesday the 30th Oct., the Teetotallers of Selby held their first Workingmens’ demonstration for this season in the Victoria Room, Jonathan Hutchinson, Esq. in the chair, when shoemakers, gardeners, carpenters, joiners, sailors, and labourers, came nobly forward and bore their willing testimony in favour of Total Abstinence from all intoxicating drinks, declaring that they could do hard work better without than with them.

The following Bill announced the Meeting: -

To the Working-men of Selby. – More Volunteers Wanted for the Selby Total Abstinence Royal Artillery, to assist in the entire destruction of Se-drunk-opol, situate on the shores of the Black Sea of Intemperance, in which 60,000 of Her Majesty’s subjects die every year, through the cruel treatment inflicted on them by the Czar of all the Alcoholians! It is proposed to Bombard Moderation-Koff Tower, with the shot and shells of Persuasion and the Force-of-truth, which when once demolished, Se-drunk-opal must fall to rise no more.

The Storming party will be led on by Generals, Patriotism, Philanthropy, and Public Good, who ALWAYS conquer.

Volunteers will be enrolled in the above gallant Corps in the Victoria-room, on Tuesday, the 30th of October, at 8 o’clock, p.m., by Sergeant Sobriety.

The Recruits will be addressed by some old Veterans, who have been in the Ranks twenty years, and who speak of the service s being Perfect Freedom. – Working men rush to the Rescue. – God save the Queen.