Eye of a Needle

When I got home last night I decided I would wear my green blouse today but remembered that a button was off the cuff - then decided I would sew it on this morning. However, this morning I got the blouse out and then couldn't remember where I had put the button (it came off ages ago) but eventually I found it…. in my handbag! And so got a needle and cotton, which I tried to thread! I tried with my glasses ON, then with my glasses OFF, but it seemed to be a joke needle with the eye all blocked up. I was getting more and more steamed up and only after I said some very crushing and very wicked swear words did the cotton go through the eye…. by which time I had lost the button again! After a bit of searching (it had been knocked off the dressing table and was hiding under my bed) I recovered the button - and then couldn't find the needle and cotton! In sheer and utter exasperation I sat down on my bed to think about the problem…. and found the needle (I still have the mark on my buttocks to prove it!). This time I was VERY careful NOT to let the button out of my sight and duly sewed it on. The whole process had taken me 27 minutes exactly (the 7.30 News was starting on the radio when I first got the blouse out of the cupboard and as I broke the cotton after sewing it on they announced the time as 3 minutes to 8). It was only when I went to do the button up a few seconds later I discovered I had sewn it on the wrong side, so it does up inside instead of outside! I couldn't believe it - but no way was I going to go through all that again so I just left it as it was. When I told Mrs Waddingham at breakfast she thought it was hilarious and nearly dropped the dishes she was laughing so much. I had phoned her yesterday to ask her something but she was out and her husband asked me to phone again in ten minutes, but all through the rest of the day the phone was permanently engaged - I thought Mr Waddingham hadn't replaced the receiver correctly, but this morning she said there is a fault on the line. She said it was working perfectly until I rang up and said it seemed that even by proxy I was able to put a jinx on things! So I thought it was not the best time to mention my third leg or the lamp - WELL -

Grace Russ - 20th September 1979