My Third Leg

WELL - it was some weeks ago now. At breakfast one Saturday Dennis (the librarian - yet another Dennis!) asked me if I had a suitcase he could borrow as he was `taking a Young Lady to Brighton for the weekend'. I told him I didn't have a suitcase but did have a holdall if that would do so he said he would borrow that. After breakfast we all retired to our rooms and Dennis ran a bath and asked me if he could borrow some bath salts "as I want to smell nice" he said. I only had Lily of the Valley Bath Oil but he said that would do so borrowed that. I joked with him about his `dirty weekend' and said it was all right for some and that I would think of him that night when I only had my Penguin to cuddle, and just after he had got into the bath he shouted out to ask me if I would like to go in and scrub his back, but before I could say `yea' `nay' or otherwise John, who is deaf and whose room is directly opposite the bathroom came out and walked straight into the bathroom where Dennis nearly died a thousand deaths thinking it was me taking him up on his offer! Poor John was most confused - he rushed out quite wet where Dennis had splashed him, and when I explained to John he had a good laugh and said "It serves him jolly well right". Well, after Dennis had finished his bath he came into my room to ask if he could borrow some deodorant for under his arms and while I was getting this he sat on the end of my bed and the leg snapped! I had already broken two legs off the other end myself. He said he would mend it for me when he got back from Brighton but I told him he might not have the strength then! He did eventually fix it for me but it is still rather wobbly and wont last all that long. My mother said to me once, in a moment of sheer exasperation "You don't need a house, only a hutch" and I think there must be some truth in that (move over there bunny).

As for the lamp…. well, I have a reading lamp on the shelf behind my bed with the switch just below at ground level. The other night I woke up and wanted to see the time and must have caught my arm in the flex or something because the next thing I know the lamp was on top of me and as I went to catch hold of it, it slipped and ended up on the floor - and with a little `pop' the light went out - so I am hoping it is just the bulb that has gone and not the whole lamp fused or something.

Grace Russ - 21st September 1979